'Ohana Means Family

Go Big, Or Go Home
On August 11th, the day before my 30th birthday (already?) and the launch of my most significant work project ever (can you say stress?), I received the biggest surprise of my life in the form of two little pink lines on a tiny strip of paper (holy crap!). 

Sharing the News
I waited all day to share the news with daddy-to-be... I wanted to do something memorable, and running in with the test at 5:30am (he's not a morning person) didn't seem like the right thing to do. We have a little tradition of making each other cards for birthdays and holidays. Imagine his surprise when I handed him a card as we celebrated my birthday (because of everything going on at my job the next day, we had decided to celebrate the night before)! I wish I would have captured his expression when he figured it out, but suffice it to say, I'll never forget that moment for the rest of my life.

Part Pinterest, part video games.
Pac-Man was (very intentionally) part of my pregnancy announcement.
Oh, and I fully taped over the pregnancy test because I was
concerned he might think it's gross because it had pee on it.
Do their tails look like bacon?

Believing in 'Ohana
We married young, and didn't want to have kids right away. But it's amazing how quickly time passes, how trying to advance education and careers can shift your priorities, and between opportunities to travel (which inspired our love of Hawaii and my 'ohana theme for the blog... and my living room decor...) and our peers' stories of parenthood, we spent some time wondering if having a family was the right thing for us or not. But in my heart, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I remember the first time a tiny baby wrapped it's little hand around my index finger. Children seem drawn to me, and me to them. I adore my nieces and nephews and second cousins. I love the relationship my husband and I have been able to develop in the 12 years we have known each other, and the prospect of raising a family with my best friend, who has so much to offer, is the most exciting thing I can imagine.

TMI (Don't Say I Didn't Warn You!)
Early pregnancy is a terrifying time. I was so focused on getting pregnant, I don't think I ever gave any thought to what it would be like when I actually was! I guess no one does until they experience it for themselves. I had been barely pregnant once before, about 8 months ago, but it wasn't viable, and we endured a long month waiting for my body to sort things out. It was emotionally and physically draining. We healed our hearts with a last minute trip to Maui - we all cope in our own way!

I worried about infertility, about future miscarriages, but I had a goal to work toward and was determined to take control of everything I could to give us the best chance possible. We committed to 5:30am workouts, I improved my diet and lost 25 pounds, and used the Fertility Awareness Method to learn to interpret my body's signals and navigate my anything-but-normal cycle (I highly recommend the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility - I think it should be mandatory reading for young women - the fact that I was 29 and had learned so much about the things my body was doing was a shock!)

So, Here We Are
Today I am about 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant. We've had our first ultrasound a couple days ago (usually you don't get your first ultrasound until about 7-8 weeks, but because of my history, they squeezed me in right away) and got to see the spot in my tummy (the gestational sac) where our baby is hopefully growing day by day. It was too early to see our baby, far too early to see a heartbeat - but that's our next milestone. In two weeks, we go back for a 7 week appointment, and hopefully a first glimpse of that tiny little heart doing its thing.

There you have it folks, a 5 week ultrasound. See that little black hole,
top left? That's where our baby is supposedly growing! Hard to believe that
.61 cm spot will (hopefully) turn into a full-sized baby in 98 months.

No morning sickness to speak of, yet. Sometimes I feel a little "swimmy", as I like to describe it. I know I'm lucky in that regard (crossing my fingers that my mom's genetics have been passed on to me - she says she didn't really experience morning sickness in any of her pregnancies). I think my biggest issue is anxiety - just a little too afraid to feel excited because of the possibility that I miscarry again. But I am excited anyway. And so is daddy.

So I just tell myself to believe. Believe in our little 'ohana. Believe in this little bean growing inside me. Believe that everything is exactly as it is meant to be. And hopefully, we get to meet this little guy or gal in April 2016.